Unspoken

I had been avoiding him. I had been keeping to myself mostly, the estate was the size of a small city so this was not exactly difficult. I had been spending time with the seamstress and a few of the women who were, basically, paid to pretend to like me. They were high caste women of course, hoping to land an influential man.

And there had been the headaches that could keep me in bed for hours some days. But I always joined him at meals, which were not small intimate affairs, but normally included complete strangers and heads of state. I was polite, cordial and charming. Even if I spent most of the time imagining horrible, beastly things about them. Especially the Initiate. I don't know why the holy man affected me the way he did but every time I saw him I felt.. meek, mild.. and excited. I had slid my hands between my thighs more then once imagining what it would be like to feel Lucien inside of me in one of the temples.. I wondered if the initiate would watch. The position of Ubara would censor my mouth but nothing would ever censor my mind.

How boring I would be if I ever stopped.. thinking.

So I had been avoiding the Ubar and thinking bad things about holy men. When he found me He pulled me into his lap and I laughed. Lucien was a mystery to me but .. I was still just a woman, I needed this attention. I needed to know someone cared about me. He kissed me, softly, sweetly and the night could have been great. We could have made love without.. hurting each other. We could have not told lies. I could have let him lick the tears of my frustration.

Instead.. I referred to myself as his political prisoner and he stood up, pushing me away from him. HE argued hotly, briefly.

"When the contract is up you will be relieved then, Xia?"

"When the contract is up, Lucien, I will do what is best for Cos." My heart was pounding.

He smiled, darkly. "You will do what I tell you too"

"Yes." I replied softly.

I felt his hand on my arm, pulling and then Garrick and his woman entered and some slaves. Lucien let me go and polite conversation. except for the part where I said something about someone giving someone head...

Right about then Lucien took me by the elbow and 'escorted' me to my rooms. His grip was.. not nice.

"You are hurting me." I complained, irritably.

"I know." He smiled at me.

Some men like to kiss a woman behind her ear or gently hold her hand.. My Ubar prefers to slam me against the wall so hard my eyes water as he tears the veils from my face. He would rather bruise my lips then hold me gently.

He made my knees weak.

"Tell me you don't love me Xia, tell me the truth." He demanded, my hips brushing mine. I moaned.

"You cannot make me." And just like that he let me go again, turned his back to me and washed his face. Fucking asshole. I hated that. He knew just how to make sure I knew how little I meant. There was silence between us and I walked towards him, met him in the bathroom by the sink. My fingers brushed over his bare back once he pulled off his tunic.

"You said you would raze cities for me.. did you mean it?"

"Xia.. I would scour Gor to find you if anyone took you from me." I did not meet his eyes. "I would have the head of any person who sought to cause you harm. You are my Ubara."

"I still think of Agrippa." I whispered, I was wearing perfume Agrippa had given me. Something he had let me purchase as we left the paga den in port when I was still his tina. I think Lucien knew.. The conversation began to die as I leaned back on the counter. I never really teased Lucien, his appetite was too large.. I could not flash him .. an ankle or a bare wrist and expect to get away unscathed. Tonight was no different...

I had not told him I loved him but beneath him that night, on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor.. I showed him I was his. All his.

When I woke in the morning to the display of elegant purfume bottles and fresh scents made just for me.. I began to understand a little more about the Ubar of Cos.

He wanted to keep me.